Has your family discussed estate planning?
American families are facing a future crisis. A 2023 survey found that only one-third of U.S. adults have an estate plan. Though that statistic increases to 44% for those age 55 and older, it is still a wildly insufficient number that will lead to confusion and stress for many.
October 21 kicks off National Estate Planning Awareness Week, and it is clear that many need help understanding the benefits of getting their affairs in order. As estate planners, we have found conversations among loved ones are usually the best way to help people grasp what is at stake. Creating an estate plan is only part of the work — the process is not complete until the people who will execute your wishes know about them.
Since these discussions can be emotionally challenging, we have included some tips to help you get started.
HOW TO TALK ABOUT YOUR ESTATE PLAN
Talking about money is uncomfortable for many, and discussing death is even more taboo. So, people commonly create estate plans and wordlessly set them aside for the future. Unfortunately, that strategy can easily backfire. A failure to communicate your wishes while alive can leave your loved ones confused, hurt, or slighted by your decisions. Those likely are not the outcomes you want.
There is no time like the present to start the conversation. You might use a recent news item or life event in your family as a segue or simply explain that you recently updated your estate plan. It is often best to have these discussions as a group so everyone can be on the same page, but you know your loved ones best.
Beyond telling your loved ones you have an estate plan, you may want to share more specific information such as who you have listed as your executor/successor trustee. Some of our clients share beneficiary names/percentages, while others decide not to discuss that topic in advance. Be prepared for questions, especially if you unconventionally split assets. Answer honestly but gently and be clear that your asset division does not reflect how much you love each person. Finally, realize that you may need a break from the discussion. It is okay to come back to the conversation later.
HOW TO TALK ABOUT YOUR LOVED ONE’S ESTATE PLAN
Discussing your estate plan is often the perfect segue into asking family members if they have created their own plans. Try to remain casual rather than confrontational but anticipate possible pushback. Many people mistakenly believe they do not have enough assets to necessitate an estate plan, or they simply want to avoid discussing death.
I have authored a book, “Yes, You Need an Estate Plan!” to explain why everyone over the age of 18 should have some form of estate planning. You may find it helpful to recommend that your loved one read the book which can be ordered by clicking here.
It is important to have these conversations with your loved ones — you care about them and want to see their wishes upheld. Furthermore, the courts could later select you as executor if there is no plan, or a failure to plan could lead to a future family fight. Your loved one’s estate plans (or lack thereof) will affect you.
If your loved ones already have an estate plan, this is the perfect opportunity to get the details and confirm it is current. If they have not planned, you can explain why you believe estate planning is essential. A story about why you created your plan may resonate with them and serve as a powerful motivator for them to start the process. You may want to offer to help with a referral to an estate planner or any other way you feel comfortable.
Having these conversations may feel scary, but most people feel relieved to get them out in the open. Starting is the hardest part! If you or a loved one would like to learn more about the estate planning process, remember we have free upcoming seminars to help — you can find details here. We hope to see you at an upcoming seminar and look forward to helping your loved ones find peace of mind.
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